Seems like Microsoft is going to bludgeon us into a state of nebulous submission with these laborious and obtuse TV commercials that we’ll actually get into a state of “Seinfeldian” satisfaction over the fact that we didn’t hate them as much as we expected to, and that’s a good thing, as Jerry would say. No its not!

It was always beaten into me that if you can’t remember what the spot is about, you’re doing a really bad job communicating. Show biz tenant number one is always leave them wanting more. But when you’re the big kid on the block, the normal rules just don’t apply.

These Microsoft TV spots are so condescending and the fact that the positioning is to try and make Bill Gates seem just like everyone else, is even more insulting. He has never been, and will never be like the rest of us. I don’t begrudge a person who has had immense amounts of success. It’s the sycophantic attitude of all things Microsoft by them and their ilk that’s nauseating. It’s the worse kind of schoolyard swarm mentality. I was at COMDEX back in the mid 1990s and some PC weenies started in on me about my obviously bad upbringing as the only rationale for why I use an Mac.

“Get rid of it” they barked at me, “because in 3 years, all that is going the way of the 8 track!” That was 1995. 13 years later all I see is everyone trying to rip off Apple iCulture and iBrands technology and doing an especially piss poor job at it, just like these new commercials. Bill Gates is the Richard Nixon of technology. Every time he goes on television, he loses a million votes. Some people are innately unlikeable, like Nixon and Gates.

The more he tries to be liked, the more he alienates people. You know Bill Gates really doesn’t care if people like him. Most are jealous of him. A lot don’t like his company and his products. The rest don’t care or are enjoying using their Macs. (Ever notice there has never been a campaign about former Mac heads who are now happily concerted PC users? How scary would that be?)

And speaking of nebs, do you think someone told Bill Gates
to put on sweater because it would make him look like a warmer individual? I’ll bet they said “lets shoot a few without your glasses on”. “On second thought, put ‘em back on”. “Can you straighten your glasses, Bill?” “What do mean, they are?” The shot of him lounging on the desk looks like he used it as his online dating picture! This is proof positive that some people aren’t photogenic or telegenic no matter what you do and money sill can’t buy everything. Even Woody Allen would beat this guy up!

The insulting nature of these commercials is in the way that Microsoft feels that they don’t have to be selling anything to get your attention. They can continue to get your attention for no good reason other than to waste it. The oil industry used to do a lot more of this years ago and it backfired because there is no way to make a death star seem warm and fuzzy. Putting stickers on fuel pumps stating that the oil company that is hosing us for gas at five bucks a gallon is only making 1% profit, is enough to incite armed insurrection in the streets. If you do a lot of things that people don’t like, you won’t make a lot of friends or keep any you still have. Cause and effect. Microsoft seems to believe that they are their own audience. Wal-Mart and a bunch of others also suffer from living in this narcissistic silo of dysfunction. No more Kool-Aid kids! You’ve had too much already…

Maybe having more money than anyone else is a good substitute for friends. I’ll let you know if I get there.. With all their money, you would think Microsoft could pull something together a lot more high concept with heavy cool factor and with a lot more meaningful relevance? It would be nice. We also like little things like killer production values too. They go a long way!

JOEL KIRSTEIN is a Creative Director who has been in the Ad Agency trenches for 25 years and he noticed that there is no more Comdex, but MacWorld just keeps on going along very nicely…

Article Tags: "Seinfeldian" satisfaction | Apple iCulture and iBrands technology | laborious and obtuse TV commercials | Mac heads | Microsoft seems to believe that they are their own audience. | nebulous submission | PC weenies
Filed under: Broadcast, Creative, Entertainment, Identity, Television, advertising, branding, funny ads